the real ten commandments in ten parts

1. Few people realize that the Ten Commandments were not given once but several times. Even fewer people realize that God gave Moses two dramatically different sets of Ten Commandments. Initially they were simply spoken by God, a second time God carved them in stone with his finger, and a third time God dictated them to Moses who wrote them on stone tablets himself. Yet a fourth telling of the story has details that differ from the previous accounts.

2. Though it matters little to the story, it should be noted that Moses was very likely a fictional character based on a much older mythological character known as Sargon of Agade. It’s also important to know that Moses was not the first character to claim to receive commandments from a god. Shamash, the god of Babylonia, gave his laws to Hammurabi long before Yahweh (the god of the Israelites), gave his laws to Moses and before either Moses or Hammurabi received their laws, the Sumerian King Ur-Nammu was given laws from the sky god An and the wind/storm god Enlil. It seems it was common thinking that claiming laws to be of divine origin imbued them with more authority.

3. Early in their relationship God meets Moses at a camping place and tries to kill him. (Ex 4:24-26) Luckily for Moses, his wife has the insight to hurriedly cut off her son’s foreskin with a sharp stone and press it against Moses’ feet. How she knew that Moses was in need of having his foot touched with her son’s freshly amputated bloody foreskin is a mystery but it seems to appease God who now changes his plans for Moses from wanting him dead to employing him as his spokesman.

4. Putting the attempt on his life behind him, Moses travels on to Egypt as God’s messenger to demand the freeing of his people. The first trick Moses performs fails to impress as the king’s magicians could also turn a wooden stick into a live snake. (Ex 7:8-13) His second trick of turning all the water in Egypt into blood also falls flat as again the king’s magicians match the feat which was actually far more impressive as it seems they first had to restore the water that God had ruined and then ruin it all over again. (Ex 7:14-25) God goes on to inflict great suffering culminating in the slaughter of all the first-born males in Egypt. The king is so distraught over the loss of his child that his will is broken and he frees the Israelites. (Ex 12:29-31) The first regulations Moses receives from God concern the Passover celebration thus named in honor of the Angel of Death which “passed over” the Israelites while only smiting the Egyptians.

5. To the Ten Commandments we go. Moses warns that anyone — man or animal — approaching the mountain will be stoned to death or shot with arrows. (Ex 19:12-13) Once all the people have been frightened away, Moses approaches God who apparently is made out of smoke and fire and speaks Thunder. (Ex 19:18-19) We note that in this version God has commanded Moses to bring Aaron up with him (Ex 19:24) and we see that the Ten Commandments are initially spoken not written in stone. (Ex 19:25-20:1-17) Some of the first laws God gives concern the proper protocol for buying slaves (Ex 21:1-11) and killing disobedient children. (Ex 21:15-17) First things first. There are a few more commands to kill certain women and those worshiping other gods (Ex 22:18-20) and concludes with timeless wisdom of never cooking a goat in its mother’s milk. (Ex 23:14-19)

6. Apparently God then decides the Ten Commandments he had given verbally to Moses and Aaron back in chapter 20 should be carved in stone. This time he only calls Moses up the mountain to receive two tablets and Aaron is left back at camp.(Ex 24:12-14) At this point we find out that God is very particular about fancy linens, diamonds and gold and the next several pages are dedicated to his detailed specifications concerning such things. When God is finally done speaking to Moses, he gives him two stone tablets on which he himself has written his commandments. (Ex 31:18)

7. While Moses was on the mountain going without food and water for 40 days, (Ex 34:28) the Israelites grew restless and abandoned God. Moses returns with tablets in hand and is furious to see Aaron and the people worshiping a new god. Moses promptly throws down God’s Laws breaking them into pieces. To quash the coup, Moses tells his followers that God commands them to “go through the camp … and kill your brothers, your friends, and your neighbors.”(Ex 32:25-29) Those obedient to Moses then kill 3,000 of their brothers, friends and neighbors and God blesses them for their holy slaughter and Moses thanks them by ordaining them as Priests.

8. After breaking God’s first set of holy stones, God tells Moses to “Cut two stone tablets like the first ones, and I will write on them the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke” (Ex 34:1). Clear as day, God says he is going to write the same words that were on the first stones. And according to God himself, what were the Ten Commandments that were written on both the first and second set of stone tablets?

“Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” (Ex 34:14)

"Be careful not to make a treaty with those who live in the land; for when they prostitute themselves to their gods and sacrifice to them, they will invite you and you will eat their sacrifices. And when you choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons and those daughters prostitute themselves to their gods, they will lead your sons to do the same. (Ex 34:15)

"Do not make cast idols. (Ex 34:17)

"Celebrate the Feast of Unleavened Bread. For seven days eat bread made without yeast, as I commanded you. Do this at the appointed time in the month of Abib, for in that month you came out of Egypt. (Ex 34:18)

"The first offspring of every womb belongs to me, including all the firstborn males of your livestock, whether from herd or flock. Redeem the firstborn donkey with a lamb, but if you do not redeem it, break its neck. Redeem all your firstborn sons. "No one is to appear before me empty-handed. (Ex 34:19-20)

"Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest. (Ex 34:21)

"Celebrate the Feast of Weeks with the first fruits of the wheat harvest, and the Feast of Ingathering at the turn of the year. Three times a year all your men are to appear before the Sovereign LORD, the God of Israel. I will drive out nations before you and enlarge your territory, and no one will covet your land when you go up three times each year to appear before the LORD your God. (Ex 34:22-23)

"Do not offer the blood of a sacrifice to me along with anything containing yeast, and do not let any of the sacrifice from the Passover Feast remain until morning. (Ex 34:25)

"Bring the best of the first fruits of your soil to the house of the LORD your God. (Ex 34:26)

"Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk." (Ex 34:26)

9. What were these Laws called? Let’s listen in on God’s conversation with Moses... “Then the LORD said to Moses, "Write down these words, for in accordance with these words I have made a covenant with you and with Israel." ... And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant—the Ten Commandments.” (Ex 34:27-28) It’s this version and this version only in which God states immediately before and after the commandments that it is with these words which he makes his covenant.(Ex 34:10, 27) And it is only when carrying this version of the Ten Commandments down the mountain does Moses’ face radiate. (Ex 34:29-35)

10. So when good Christians clamor to post the Ten Commandments in public places let’s make sure they post God’s final “covenant” version that condemns cooking a goat in his mother’s milk. That way we can rest assured that our children will be obedient. Or perhaps an even better way to keep our kids in line would be to post God’s commandment to stone the trouble makers. (Ex 21:15-17)