The Magic Blue Monkey
Would you believe me if I told you there was a Magic Blue Monkey that made the world, loves us and has a plan for us to come join him on his magic planet when we die?
I suspect not. And you would be completely justified in your refusal to believe my proposition. In fact, you would be less than rational if you did so....
What if I were to say the evidence of the Blue Monkey’s existence is all around us and explain that he shaped the first man and woman and all the animals out of dirt about 5,000 years ago and furthermore, I, and countless others have for 2,000 years, personally experienced the presence of the Blue Monkey?
Still not buying my story? Good. You shouldn’t. I have offered no evidence to back it up and science contradicts several of my assertions with compelling evidence.
What if I were to say, we have a book that explains all this. It is a special book. A divine book. A book inspired by the Blue Monkey himself? It is full of wisdom and tells—with eye witness accuracy — the historical account of the Blue Monkey’s precious child coming to earth in the form of a man to die for us so that the Blue Monkey would not have to throw us all into his chamber of horrors. Isn’t that wonderful?! Isn’t that loving?! All you have to do is “believe”.
Still not convinced? But why? I have given all kinds of evidence and besides, what do you have to lose? If you do believe and there is no Blue Monkey and torture pit then when you die you’ll have nothing to worry about. If I’m right though, won’t you be glad you believed?! Of course you will! You would be foolish not too. Yes, it will demand many hours of your time and yes, we give 10% of all our money to the Blue Monkey Brotherhood but the sacrifice of time and money is so worth it.
Boy, still not willing to accept the Blue monkey into your heart and make him Lord and Savior of your life? You are being close-minded. You must open your mind and your heart. The Blue Monkey loves you so much and wants to have a personal relationship with you. I promise you, he will change your life!
I have provided multiple reasons for you to believe and yet you don’t. You know, you actually have just as much faith as we believers do. You cannot possibly know that the Blue Monkey does not exist for you are not all-knowing. You have faith that he doesn’t. Seems we are both believers but I have the benefit of a Blue Monkey that loves me, has a plan for my life, will cuddle me forever when I die and you my friend, will become a human candle.
Well, it’s not really my job to convince you but simply share the good news. The Holy Monkey Spirit must come upon you. I will pray every day that it does.
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3 comments:
Present me with an actual case for the Blue Monkey and I might believe. Thus far all you've offered is mockery, but you've neglected any actual facts.
Seems the only difference between my story and Christianity is a book. You see, there is a book but one must believe in the Blue Monkey with all one’s heart and soul and He will reveal the contents over time as the believer is able to receive it.
That's nice if you're trying to believe in the Blue Monkey. I am not a theistic existentialist; I do not believe in God because of feelings or experiences, although I certainly feel that I love him and have experienced his love. I believe in God because of the facts. Also, while God may use Bible verses to apply to specific points in my life, or encourage me by giving me a specific verse that applies to a situation (like a person telling me that verse, it being used in church, me finding it in my Bible reading, etc), that's a wholly different thing from God revealing the contents to me over time. The only time it's taking for me to have the contents of the Bible revealed to me is the time it takes me to read through the whole thing. I don't have to wait for God to deliver me a decoder ring before I can tell what the Bible is saying.
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