Thursday, October 23, 2008
thought of the day.130
There is no more dysfunctional parent figure in all of literature than the God of the bible. This often petty, more often angry and violent, and always jealous character, doesn’t want independent children but forever dependent ones forbidden to grow up and think for themselves.
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4 comments:
I found out the hard way that god is a poor role model when it comes to getting married! I was married to an abusive man for 8 years (and stupidly stayed - more brainwashing from christian past). But when I think about it, he is the model husband; he loved me very much the way christ loved the church. He was violent, unpredictable, jealous, and induced fear. He made it so that there was no way out other than death. I don't think I ever mentioned to him how god-like he was,in fact!
Fortunately, I have moved on from there and now I no longer use God as a role-model for my spouse. Fortunately, I have much higher standards for my boyfriend that I do for god!
I too think the Christian message that a husband is to have authority over the wife caused unnecessary problems in my marriage. Thankfully I have a patient and strong wife that helped me to eventually realize that a relationship will only be mutually healthy and happy if it is a true partnership.
I agree. I think the concept of "partnership" is one that is completely missing in religious circles. I remember being told that you can't have 2 presidents of a company; therefore, one marriage partner must be the "boss" (what's funny is that I was told this, but my mother was never very submissive - she fought about everything!)
It shows an utter lack of understanding of the concept of consensus and partnership. I learned about this when I moved to northern Manitoba (where it's c-o-o-o-ld) and starting living and working with Canadian First Nations (you may know them as American Indians). Their spirituality, before colonization, was one based on respect, consensus of the group, and earned leadership rather than elected leadership. For example, the person who sacrified the most for his tribe would be the go-to person and have the greatest respect.
This was completely destroyed when Europeans came and enforced their hierchical belief systems on everyone.
It's interesting what you say about your marriage, John. Did your wife try to make your marriage more equal, or was it you? I'm not sure what your immediate environment is, also, but because you're from Texas I would assume that people around you are very conservative. It's often hard to find like-minded community as atheists. It's great to be able to share these things with a spouse or partner.
Love the idea of the earned leadership rather than elected! Very cool.
As for my marriage, my wife was able to see the controlling aspect of my personality and the root of it much more clearly than I and she was strong enough to make me face it and deal with it. Took awhile to get a handle on it but think I finally did.
And to be fair, I certainly cannot blame all of it on Christianity. I was just more about me than others for awhile but I do think the Christian message of the man being the head of the house etc played into it.
My family was understandably freaked out for awhile about my rather sudden dramatic change of views. I think mostly because of the big chip on my shoulder. I think I was kind of a jerky ex-christian for awhile. But I mellowed a bit and I am now happier than I have ever been and there is real peace in the family. Well as much peace as you can have with three teenagers...
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